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motherofoneontherun

~ Mother of one, loves to run. Learning about life as I go…

motherofoneontherun

Monthly Archives: June 2013

… when I grow up…..

20 Thursday Jun 2013

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dream, the working world, when I grow up

When I was a kid I didn’t think much about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I was interested in playing Star Wars or GI Joe with my boy friends down the street.  I played Barbies with my sister and best friend.  At one time I guess I wanted to be an archeologist and discover Nefertitti, I was really intrigued by Ancient Egypt for some reason.  I loved to draw and imagine and play make believe.  But now I’m an adult.  With a family.  And I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I keep on waiting to get some sort of sign, to be reminded of what I should be doing and where I should be doing it.  In my 15 or so years of working in a professional setting I never particularly felt like I was contributing to anything major.  I never felt like I was really “a part of something”.  I feel like that’s what I want now though.

But what do you do when you’re “all grown up” and you’ve got a degree (or two) in something that you don’t even think that you want to do anymore?  Do you start over?  Do you work your way up with the 20 somethings as your competition?  And how about if you’ve been out of work for (gulp) five years and you don’t know what it takes to be successful anymore?  Or maybe I should just become one of the white suited street sweepers at Disneyland?

I don’ t know what the answer is, but I feel like I’m running out of time.  I would dream big but I don’t even know what to dream about………

“A dream is a wish your heart makes………..”Image

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I have ADD

19 Wednesday Jun 2013

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ADD, multitasking, scatterbrained

I never used to have ADD until I became a parent.  This is self diagnosed of course.  I have never been to see a doctor for this problem, but I used to be so focused.  So on task.  I used to have to cross reference electrical details with reflected ceiling plans and look at structural drawings to verify that there was enough clearance for ductwork.  Now I can’t even carry out a simple task to completion.  Oh look, I need to take out the trash.  Oh wait M’s socks are in the middle of  the floor, surrounded by Legos.  And I want to vacuum this afternoon so I’d better have him pick those up.  Let me just put those socks in the hamper.  Oh, I should just put them straight into the washing machine along with the clothes in his hamper.  Well, if I’m doing M’s laundry, I’d better change his sheets too.  Wait, what was I doing again?

 

See, you know you do it too.  And I only have one little person to take care of. 🙂

How lucky we are.

12 Wednesday Jun 2013

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My route to take my son to school each day takes me past a cemetery.  I have been so surprised with the amount of funerals that have been taking place there lately.  Every day I see people gathered around recessed grave markers, clutching flowers, or balloons dancing in the wind above a bouquet.  And lots of times I see the backhoe machine out, ready to do it’s job, or the temporary canopies put out to shield grieving families from the sun.  All of this makes me so, so sad.  Sad for the person that is no longer with us.  Sad for the families that have lost them.  Sad for the workers who, day after day have to dig the graves or set up the canopies or chairs.  Whenever I see a funeral going on there I drive a little slower.  Turn down my radio if my windows are down as if to somehow pay my respects to people that I do not know.

What this teaches me is this:

Be thankful for every day that you have here.  Things may not be perfect, but we are lucky enough to breathe in and out every day.

Slow down, take your time and enjoy life when you don’t feel the pressure to rush, rush, rush (sometimes we have to be in a hurry for things…).

Give your kid a break if you are running late for school because of something that they did (stalled putting on their clothes, refused to use the bathroom before leaving, misplaced the toy that they wanted to take to school).

Just another reason to be thankful and remember how lucky we are.

Time to question everything…..?

11 Tuesday Jun 2013

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happiness, serendipity, simpler times

Yesterday, something happened to me (well really my family) that made me question my place here (Southern California).  I believe that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes an event can throw you for a loop.  I was just commenting to a friend the other day about how overwhelmed I feel to “do it all” (with respect to being a mom and wife) and “buy/participate/register” for every race out there.  I am bombarded by all that people do and have and yadda, yadda, yadda.  I told her that maybe I need to be removed from the situation so that I can just step back and not feel the pressure of it all.  The event made me question what’s really important.  Is it time to move on?  Is it time to rethink what I previously thought made me “the happiest person on Earth”?  Happiness does not come from what can be bought, and I wish that everyone could understand that.  We need to learn how to be content with family and friendships, our good health and our ability to exercise.  Some people aren’t as lucky as us, and I don’t think that many people realize that.  Society bombards us and tells us that we need to have more, need to work harder, we need to multitask, we need to have better, bigger, faster, we’re not doing enough, we’re doing too little.  It’s exhausting.  I’m ready for something simpler.  I wish that everything could be taken down a notch, for everyone’s sake.

Serendipity: a “happy accident” or “pleasant surprise”; specifically, the accident of finding something good or useful while not specifically searching for it.

I’m not saying that what happened was a “happy accident” by any means, nor was it a “pleasant surprise”.  It was quite the opposite actually.  I’m just wondering if the event was enough to kick me in the seat of the pants as if to say “okay, it’s time to move on…… this is your sign…. we realize that you are no longer happy here and nor will you continue to be.  Follow us, we have something better in mind”….. I can’t wait to see the outcome.  Everything happens for a reason.

Grandparents (I miss them)

05 Wednesday Jun 2013

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grandparents

I got to thinking about my grandparents last night.  For the longest time I had all four of them still with me.  Then, this past year, in 2012, my last living grandparent died a few days before Christmas.

I lived in a small town where a trip to my grandparents’ houses took 5 or 10 minutes max.  I would spend week long trips with them.  I would have overnight stays with them.  I would see them every single holiday.  They would come to my house every Christmas and I would show them every single present that I got.  And they acted interested and were never bored with me.  Oh how I wish that they were all still here.  To see how my son has grown.  To see where my life has taken me.  And I am sad that my parents do not get the opportunity to spend time with their grandson like I did with all four of my grandparents.

If you are in your late 30s or early 40s and you still  have your grandparents with you, you are a very lucky person.

I love you George, Joan, John and Eileen.

Find something beautiful……

03 Monday Jun 2013

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something beautiful

Life is full of stress, which is one of the reasons why I started running regularly.  Recently I’ve been trying to “find something beautiful every day”.  It helps to make my runs more enjoyable, and it gives me something positive to think about.  It can be anything from a hummingbird or a bunch of flowers that I never noticed to a child playing with his/her parent or a happy dog on a walk.  In the mass chaos that we encounter some days, you can find it.  It’s out there. 🙂

pick a day in my life

  • October 2022
  • September 2021
  • January 2021
  • May 2020
  • January 2020
  • July 2019
  • April 2019
  • February 2019
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • March 2018
  • August 2017
  • March 2016
  • October 2015
  • July 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • December 2014
  • September 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • December 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
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