I’ll be the first to admit, when it comes to fitness, I am lazy. I need a motivator, like a trip or an event to get in shape. I love to run, but the motivation isn’t there for me to completely push myself. Sure, I want to PR every race, because it shows that I’m getting better, but some goals in my mind are unattainable right now. I still haven’t conquered the “mind over matter” thing with every aspect to running. Like right now, I see no way how I can complete a full marathon, a triathlon or even a duathlon (nor do I have any plans to sign up for one any time soon). I even have this shirt that proves how lazy I am……

I have to be honest with myself though. Right now, I’m not willing to do what it takes to ”step up my game”. There are certain things that I like too much:

– I love beer
– I don’t watch what I eat
– I do not follow a fat free, gluten free, caisson free, whatever free diet
– I drink a lot of coffee
– I don’t drink enough water (beer has water in it, right?)
– I don’t cross train enough

Ok, that’s enough for now, since just compiling that list made me feel worse about myself. And I’ll also admit, in the midst of all this, all of this makes me feel like less of a runner. Who cares if I’ve completed seven races so far this year, four of them being half marathons? I remember reading one post last year that has stuck with me, “half marathon = half assed”, and it really made me mad. But what I can’t seem to get over is ”why does it make me mad”? Really, in the grand scheme of things, who cares what they think? I’m not running for them. I’m not trying to compete with them. And hell, if they’re that ignorant to say such a thing, I don’t even want to be them. I feel sorry for them, that they can’t accept lowly half marathoners as people who just want to do their best too. Anyway, I digress. My main point is:

And right now, I don’t think I can. Maybe I’m afraid to fail. Maybe I’m afraid it will hurt. Maybe I’m afraid of trying something new. But then again “WHY”?

To be continued……… (yes, my truck needs a bath)