Tag Archives: comparisions

why do you want to be fast?

05 Saturday Mar 2016

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PR

…. my good friend and co-worker asked me at work last week. I had told her about my excitement with my latest PR from my most recent half marathon. I was so happy that day that I cried. I have been working hard lately trying to get myself in better shape, and to see the results of my minimal training made me extremely happy. I have only been running half marathons for three years and the PR made my 20th half very special.

That is until dinner that evening, when someone that I had just met that night asked me what my time was….. “What was it?!” he said, “were you under two hours??”. Right there. Someone who didn’t even know me slapped me back to reality and made me realize how slow I am and how much work I still need to do.

Or do I?

The question my friend asked me last week made me wonder, why DO I want to be fast?

I actually said “You know what? I don’t even really know”.

Self doubt, comparison and social media can be brutal. Do I want to be fast for myself? Or do I want to be fast so I can show other people how fast I am? I have never been a competitive person. Growing up with a twin was enough. People compare the two of you whether they admit it or not. So a part of me tends to shy away from competition because people will either see me for who I am or make up their own minds about who they think I am. And the people that don’t really know me…. Do they really matter? Why should I be concerned about what Joe Schmoe thinks of my finish time? Why should I be concerned about what people on social media think about my finish times?

(I’m not saying that these feelings of slow inadequacy will go away, I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with them….)

So the question to myself still stands…Why? Bragging rights are certainly nice, but then again, there will always be someone faster, better, stronger than you, so again, why? For the photo on Instagram? For the better corral placement? For the feeling of accomplishment? For myself? Am I afraid of being judged for my lack of speed? Or am I just too lazy to even want to try to become faster? Am I afraid of the challenge?

No matter how old you are, there is still something to be learned about yourself, isn’t there?

“You’re never satisfied. That’s what life is, it’s just this ongoing, neverending vacation adventure, you see. You can’t get it wrong and you’ll never get it done…..” – Ester Hicks

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20 Saturday Jul 2013

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I feel like I’ve been driving all over Orange County this week.  Running errands, trying to prepare things for my son’s birthday party.  This means that I have encountered a lot of traffic.  Typically I don’t venture out after say 2:30 or 3pm because that’s when it starts to get heavy.  The traffic problem lasts until around 7ish.  Anyway, I usually curse under my breath (because my son is usually with me) and weave in and out of traffic.  I’m horrible, I can usually look at a car and figure out how fast or slow they will go.  Whether or not they will get it off the line quick enough for me to zip past them and get to the lane that I need.  But the last few days were different.  Over the last few days I decided to just flow with the traffic, stay in my lane and not frantically try to move move to the “fastest lane of traffic”.  And you know what?  I was a lot calmer.  I got to my destination and everything was okay.  Then it made me think about how hard I try to push for things that sometimes aren’t meant to be.  I try too hard to swim upstream and battle uncontrollable elements.  I learned this week that if I just go with the flow, it will still be okay.  Now driving up to Disneyland on the other hand….. stay out of my way!!!! 🙂

 

  1. Moving on to comparisons….. I am a relatively new runner.  I only started running in races 10 years ago when I moved to SoCal, and only started seriously running (5 days a week) for the last 2 years.  The problem that I have is that there is a place where I want to be (maybe I should take a note from my previous blog post, hahaha) and there’s the place where I am now.  I see the gals in the place that I want to be and I am immediately jealous.  But these girls have been running seriously (marathons, qualifying for Boston, triathlons, etc.) for many more years than I have been.  And I need to remind myself of that.  I also need to remind myself that I have no desire to qualify for Boston, or run a marathon for that matter.  Sometimes I think that we (I) need to:

– Just stop, look at what we have accomplished

– Stop comparing ourselves (and maybe lay off of Twitter every once in a while so it’s not so “in your face”, lol)

– Count our blessings

– Stop being jealous of others because you will not get what you want if you continue to focus on what it is that you don’t have

…. and

– Be happy for others’ accomplishments!

 

That is all.  🙂