(stuck) in a rut: kept in an established way of living or working that never changes.

I never thought it would happen to me. After running consistently (every week and sometimes daily) for over 3 years I’ve finally managed to get myself in a running rut. Blame it on no upcoming races on my calendar. Blame it on no motivation. Blame it on the streak of 100 plus degree days that we had last week, but I am here. And I don’t like it. I feel fat and lazy and unaccomplished. And now with a batch of blood work, x-rays and an MRI, I feel like I’m being forced to take it down a notch. My doctor even called me last night and actually told me not to work out for the next couple of days due to the results of my most recent blood work. Sigh.

Like Disneyland, running used to be my happy place. And the sad thing is, I haven’t even been going to Disneyland as much anymore.

Maybe I need to find a new happy place? (insert sad face here…..)

I need to be happy with where I am, not where I think I should be. My slow and steady progress with running has me frustrated. Without the atmosphere of The Happiest Place on Earth, I feel lost. Maybe it’s time to make a change?

If any of you really know me, I despise change. I drag my feet and leave kicking and screaming…… until I realize that the new thing/place/experience is actually okay. And then I realize….

Why didn’t I do this a long time ago?!?

My problem is, lots of times I don’t listen to my intuition. I think that others know better. I feel like society pushes me in a different direction. And then there’s the bigger reason…. I feel fear. Fear of the unknown stops me dead in my tracks. Keeps me in my rut. But what was it that Nietzsche said?

After I get my health issues straightened out, I think I need to put on my favorite pair of Brooks Pure Flows, put Kanye’s “Stronger” on repeat and just go. Find a new route. Do more yoga. Run some trails. And then maybe I’ll find my new happy place.